The prison of our own design

It’s that time of the year. Finals are here, and my super motivated self from the beginning of the semester is nowhere to be found. And now, procrastination has had the best of me. So, what do I distract myself with? You guessed right. I google the first thing in my mind – why people cheat? Not so fast. You will be surprised with the number of articles, research papers and blogs that are written on the topic. I got 44,000,000 results to be exact. Seems like something that a lot of people care about. More than ‘why am I such a loser?’ which gave 27,900,000 results.

Anywho, back to the point. So why do people cheat?

We all are aware of the famous joke of all time, right? Moses comes down and says, ‘I have got good news and bad news. The good news is I got him down to ten, and the bad news is “adultery” stays’… If you haven’t got the joke, this article is not for you. READ NO MORE! I will not be responsible for the next three to five minutes of your life that you’re about to lose.

Why would students, teams, politicians or couples cheat? Why do they cheat in situations with little to gain than losing? Why, in other words, would one break a rule that they were specifically warned about beforehand? Well, before I mislead you in any way, I am going to limit this piece to non-marriage relationships kind of cheating, and it should in no way be matched to my identity and beliefs. Everything is purely based on research. I mean a fifteen-minute research to be exact.

At a surface level, it seems as if people cheat because they are unaware of the exclusivity discourse that the relationship entails, they find the other person desirable, they are seeking for what they are not getting in their relationship, they are seeking for materialistic opportunities (with boss, professor or T.A), it’s in their genes, for payback reasons, or simply because they are just addicted. However, research shows otherwise. In fact, it is more psychological than one might realise, and of course, applies differently to men as it does to women.

Research shows that women cheat because of mere disappointment from their counterparts and the relationship at large. So they use cheating as a way of ending the relationship by making the man end it. Others argue that they cheat so as to fix their relationship, with the belief that the guilt from it will act as a reassuring factor to keep their feelings in check. Sometimes they meet someone who is a lot more caring and remembers their birthday (guys please don’t forget your girlfriend’s birthday! with google calendar and facebook in place, there’s literally no excuse).

When it comes to men, research suggests that their cheating is linked to the need for control more than not. This issue is especially common among men who are financially dependent on their girlfriends. The trend persists when there’s performance anxiety at bed or when it comes down to just casual flirting. It can also be seen when there is a need for re-assurance as far as masculinity is on the check, to state the least.

Of course, this problem is bigger than stated above, and there is no way I could address it wholesomely in an article as short as this. My main intent is to trigger a debate amongst my readers (friends) or just a chain of thought to independent thinkers. Please feel free to reach out if you’ve got suggestions, critiques or any rebuttal.

In the spirit of the biblical narrative that we all know by heart, LET US SWEAR ALLEGIANCE to the seventh of the ten commandments – ‘Though shalt not commit adultery’.

~Cem~ 05/05/2017


Author: Mr.Clevance

I am starting this journey as a self-realization process that I have been meaning to do years now. I hope it changes and inspires you as it will to me.

6 thoughts on “The prison of our own design”

  1. Well, i’ve been walking down this road too since last year, coming across this article basicly gives me hope that im not thinking about this alone and i will set up reminders in every calendar my boyfriend has


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