CEM 25/05/2017, DSM
I opened my eyes hoping that it was only a dream. Ohh, Lord! Plz, let it all be a dream. I did not go out yesterday. I did not drink my ass off until my kidneys cried out for mercy. I did not end up with a one-night stand whose name I don’t even recall. Ohh, Lord! Have mercy.
‘Babyy! You up already? I have been waiting for you… I woke up a little early. And have been staring at your cute face ever since. You know you’re cuter when asleep than normally would.’… WTH! What a creep! Who stares at someone’s face for over two hours. Girl! You know that meant nothing to me right? I hope you do.
But Lord! Why didn’t you let it be just a dream? Now I have to deal with this one. Offload her before everyone is up. They will start calling me a manwhore after all these one night stands. In my defence though, I never asked for this. I mean the market is super tight nowadays. And nobody got time for dinner dates every other Friday, in hopes of finding the one after six months. To be honest with you though, it’s all about the economics of sex. Simply put, I need occasional sex but can’t afford it via the long route following relationships. So would rather immerse myself with that 4k NYAGI, 10k for club’s entrance fee, 20k for the CAB round trip, and I’m ready to go.
‘Ohh yeah?! How sweet of you? So how dyu feel now?’
‘I am doing fine thanks for asking. You are so sweet… PLZ marry me! Be my husband? I need a husband like you.’…After seeing my face she was like, ‘Just joking bwana! But Ohhh Lord! That was good. THANK YOU SO MUCH. You really good at it. And sweet. And with dancing, Ohh Lord! Don’t get me started.’
I smirked. Looking at her straight in the eyes, while petting her hair. Credits to her hair though. This goddess had it good. It was really long and natural. Smelled good too.
‘You know I didn’t like you when I first saw you. I mean you’re cute and all, but you ain’t my type’… She was clearly referring to my height. FUCK MY 5’6 stature!…’But after dancing to you with that Kenzo’s song (kamatia). Bruh! I didn’t wanna let go. Hivi ni pro-dancer au?’
‘NAH! I am actually really bad when sober. I guess it’s one of those talents that needs drinking for activation.’
‘Can I ask for one more thing?’…Me: ‘Morning s** au??’…’NO!!! Hell NO! I have had enough. That was enough for the whole month … I just wanted to have a shower with you. I have been fantasizing about it for long.’…’Hizi movies zatuharibu ati. Damn you HOLLYWOOD!… Let’s go lakini’… We ended up with another session in the shower and back in the bed.
Called a CAB for her, and she was gone. I had to take a two hour nap to reassemble my system.
Two hours later, I was on my bed looking at my phone screen. Trying to catch up quickly and answer all the texts, emails and missed calls. Whilst doing that, I started reminiscing about earlier yesterday. Reminiscing about a girl who had my heart pinned for the first time, from the first sight of hers. Reminiscing our first awkward acquaintance to our first kiss and all the things we ended up doing. Crazy that all that can happen in one day. God, I love my life!!! SOMETIMES.
Right from the start, I knew she was different. She was the one. I mean I have been around, and I have seen a lot BUT there was no one like her. EVEN CLOSE. God, she was hot! This one was all I have been looking for all these years. This one was all a guy can ask for. This one can make a guy change his religion, disown his family and abandon his kids. This one is worth a thousand pages of description. This one was the one. She was definitely the one.
‘You’re Clevance!’….’Yeah! How dyu know me?’. Acting all defensive…’Instagram!’ took a step forward and continued ‘I’m that ******* you have been liking her pics’…. ‘Ohhhhh!’…’Yeah!!!’….’You look different in person’….She frowned. Looked at me straight in the eyes, as though she was demanding for further clarification…’OMG! NO NO – I meant you look much better in person. You should fire your photographer already.’
Phew, what a save!
Not so fast… Before I could do anything, we were hit with another awkward moment. I was stuck and so was she. All standing in a desultory fashion. Staring at her, and her doing the same. It was as if we were in a staring contest. I have been in such situations a lotta times though – I know I’m weird like that – so this was nothing, I was definitely more than prepared for the challenge.
Laughsss …. ‘What are you doing? Ohhh boy you are one of those’.
That hit me hard. I mean you finally meet the most beautiful girl, alluring, stylish and elegant, and there I am doing nothing. The girl initiated the convo for Pete’s sake – that never happens to me 🤷🏽♂️ . DAMN YOU INACTIVE AND DEPRIVED BRAINS. Do something! Say anything!
She freaking approached me! Did I say this never happens to me? SAD LIFE. I am about to screw this up, ain’t I? Anyways, it wouldn’t be the first time.
‘Ain’t you gonna say anything? CLEVANCE!?!’…’Listen ***’. Let’s call her Queen Hatshepsut for now. The girl got that Queen Hatshepsut vibes if doesn’t supersede her. GEEKY STUFFS 🤦🏽♂️. ‘Listen Queen Hatshepsut! I have never met a girl as beautiful as you are, so I guess this is me acting like a star-struck teenager meeting his/her celebrity crush.’…’You are cute!’…Ohhh shit! It’s happening. (Victory Dance)
In my little to nothing years, I have been lucky to meet a lot of people. Have acquainted with quite a number. It has reached a point where I get called with people I don’t recognize – I know, impressive -; but never have I met a girl like Queen Hatshepsut.
Queen Hatshepsut was different. Queen Hatshepsut was the one.
TO BE CONTINUED …